Monday mornings in the Principal's office can either be a warm cozy way of easing into the work week or a bucket of cold water in the face. The meeting I'm about to describe took place several years ago and could easily be the basis for the underlying theme of this blog "Things They Never Taught Us in Principal's School".
I remember sitting at my desk, on a crisp November morning, going through some of the accumulated paperwork that was sitting in my signature folder when my intercom buzzed. My secretary Paula was calling to inform me that Fred, one of my senior teachers was waiting to speak to me. Fred was a 30+ year veteran teacher and rumor had it that he was going to retire at the end of the school year. Fred had lost his wife several years earlier and it appeared to all that he was having a difficult time moving forward with his life. I really thought that Fred wanted to tell me that he was retiring and that this would be his final year. I was only partially correct!
Fred entered my office carrying a large pile of papers and pamphlets which he was barely able to manage. I invited him to take a seat and I began our conversation with the usual pleasantries. Fred was an unassuming man who had a small group of friends at school. He pretty much kept to himself and spent most of his free time at his desk in his classroom. I really didn't know much about him outside of school but that was about to change.
Fred began by telling me that he had decided that he was going to retire at the end of the present school year. He said that 34 years was enough and it was time to start his "new life". I had no idea what the term new life meant. Fred let me know that for several years, possibly decades, he was aware that he was at heart, a women trapped in a man's body. With the passing of his wife several years earlier he had begun explore these feelings and finally last year decided that he was going to go ahead with gender reassignment surgery.
All I could think about while Fred was confiding in me was "Wait until the Superintendent hears this!" Fred continued to explain that he had already gone through the psychological counseling that was required and had also begun to take female hormone injections to begin the process of change. His plan was to schedule the surgery following the end of the school year and begin his new life as a women. Fred also shared with me that over the last few months he had started to wear only women's clothing when he was not at work. Fortunately, he lived in another county, several miles from our very conservative and insulated school district.
After several seconds of waiting for the blood to return to my brain a stream of questions began jumping up and down in my head. Doing my best to maintain my composure, I asked Fred if he planned on wearing women's clothing to work? Waiting for Fed's reply the legal phrase disruptive to the educational process kept passing through my conscience along with several possible headlines for our small town newspaper. Fred acknowledged that he would maintain his "male"outward appearance for the remainder of the school year however it was his intention to attend the faculty end term party dressed as a women! If that wasn't enough, the next item was the icing on the cake.
Fred had decided to go ahead and legally change his first name in anticipation of his new life and his retirement. His new name was Sandy and he was going to have to inform our district payroll department of the change. Fred / Sandy quickly removed his / her new drivers license from his wallet to show me the name change, He had also gone ahead and ordered a personalized license plate for his car imprinted with the name Sandy to commemorate the event.
As it turned out, the pile of handouts and pamphlets that Fred brought to my office were articles discussing transgender issues and the surgical process of change. Fred offered to speak to our students on this topic at an upcoming assembly, if I thought it would be appropriate, but I graciously declined the offer. I asked Fred if it would be alright for me to tell our Superintendent what we had discussed and he agreed.
After Fred left my office a lengthy conversation with our Superintendent followed. Among other things that we discussed was the potential impact that this information would have on my school should this information become public. Instead of taking any pre-emptive actions we decided to monitor the situation as discretely as possible. For the next six months I was placed on "Fred watch" paying special attention to any rumors that might filter through the school.
True to his word, Fred maintained a very professional and masculine appearance for the remainder of the school year. A few rumors surfaced along the way but without support they evaporated just as quickly. Word had gone out among our staff that Fred would be unveiling his new look at the faculty party and it was a sold out event. Sandy arrived at the party wearing a flowing blond wig and a floor length evening gown. It was quite a sight.
As is often the case, the anticipation of what could be, is far worse than what actually happens. But it never hurts to be prepared.
No comments:
Post a Comment